Where it all began.
As a kid, I was a collector. I collected smashed pennies, postcards, stuffed animals, keychains, rocks, paper junk, and more. The one thing I wanted more than anything though, were dolls.
When my little sister came into the family, she became the baby. Every birthday and Christmas she received so many toys. This was unusual in my family, because up until that point, we didn't have a lot of toys in the house. Mine and my four siblings' entertainment typically came from playing with each other, playing outside, reading, or our thirty minutes a day of 'computer time.' Suddenly there were Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony and Littlest Pet Shop and Barbie to trip over. I became obsessed with the shows and movies and of course, the toys. While most belonged to my little sister, I had some of my own that I'd buy with my allowance and hard-earned chore/babysitting money. I'd convince her to go half and half on group sets so I could have a Princess Luna figure, or Fawn the fairy. I'd beg her to trade her Lily Blossom pony to me if I did her chores. We'd build houses for our Strawberry Shortcakes and Kawaii Crush dolls. I was so lucky to have a sister that loved the same things I did.
The issues started once I became a teenager. Being five years older than my little sister meant that when she was eight, and it was perfectly normal for her to love the media that targeted her demographic, I was being told that I was too old. That I needed to stop playing with toys. This hurt. My family was judgmental about the things I loved. So, I stopped. My stuffed animals got sorted into "keep" and "donate" piles, my few dolls and ponies got packed away, and I stopped talking about my favorite things.
My love stayed alive in the quiet. I spent hours upon hours of my teen years watching shows and movies, no matter the young target demographic, looking up toy brands and doll lines I saw while walking past the toy aisle, and waiting, just waiting for the day I'd have the freedom to explore my interests without fear of judgement. And on July 1st, 2023, that day finally came.
I had been living alone in my first apartment for about a month and a half, and I had been keeping up with recent doll releases. The line I had my eye on were Rainbow High by MGA. Their fashions were so cool to look at, and the short episodes posted to Youtube I found interesting. However, when I saw Zooey Electra, I knew she was the one I wanted first.
I immediately clocked the Novi Stars influences and references. The astronaut jacket, the patches, the character on her t-shirt. I had spent months obsessing over Novi Stars when I was younger, watching everything I could find about them on Youtube. It was how I found the Kittiesmama, MyFroggyStuff, and Mommy and Gracie (now My World) channels.
I went to Target, picked up the doll, and brought her home. After unboxing Zooey and her little accessories, I just sat on my couch, delicately touching her hair and clothing. It sounds creepy, I know, but it was an almost surreal experience. I had waited for so long. I finally had a physical space of my very own, and the freedom to fill it with anything I wanted. And fill it I did.
Two years and 75 dolls and figures (as of 6/16/2025) later, I am still collecting. Younger me would be so thrilled. In a weird way, I think of younger me like my kid. I can finally let myself, and that younger me, love what I love freely. My collection will continue to grow, as well as the healing for the thirteen year old kid that just wanted to play with a doll.